When Friends Become Family...

Hola,

How is everyone doing? I'm hoping that with my last post "Style Is What You Do With It," you all got to know the person behind this blog a little better. That you got to know my fashion style and tastes, and that perhaps some of us have something in common. I would love it if you went back to that post and shared yours with me. Give me some insight on your style and/or what you find is missing in the fashion world that could make you more fabulous than you already are. :)

So my loves, in this post I'd like to veer off of the subject of fashion and instead talk about FAMILY. Yes, that wonderful word that brings to mind unconditional love, loyalty, support, unity and so many other positive emotions. Family, and I'm of course referring to "blood relatives," are really some of the most important people in our lives. We learn to love because of them, we learn our core values, morals and principles because of them as well. Our parents teach us all these things in our early years. They are the key to how we are raised. Our first interactions when we're born are with our parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. They become some of the people we love the most throughout our lives. Our cousins can easily become our first best friends. We grow to cherish our family and turn to them in times of need, during happy and sad times. There is nothing sweeter than a family that is united.

Yes, the love of a family is incomparable. Whether the family is large or small, it does not matter. What matters is the bond. There are so many lovely families in the world that get along no matter what goes wrong. They know how to put differences aside and resolve their issues.  These are beautiful families that support each other in everything. When one needs help, they all unite and support, when one has a dream, the family pitches in and makes it come true. One of the most amazing things to me is hearing stories about a family-owned business and how the family got together and made it happen then passed it on from generation to generation; or how someone lost their job and the family got together to help out until the person was back on their feet. There are so many great stories of support and unity. If you have this connection with your blood relatives, I beg you to cherish it and maintain it no matter what. It is one of the most important and sought after relationships.

So what happens when that familial structure changes and not in a positive way? What happens when you grow up and you realize you have nothing in common with one of your siblings, one or both of your parents aren't all they should be (because let's face it, not everyone is cut out to be a parent), the fights begin within the family because of gossip, instigators and lies spread that can sometimes be irreparable? The once unified family as we saw it begins to deteriorate, breakdown and yes, it breaks up. What do you do then? Who becomes that loyal support system that we all need?...

FRIENDS!!

Yes, FRIENDS! Another wonderful word that brings to mind unconditional love, loyalty, support, unity and so many other positive emotions. There is a quote that I love that says:

...I believe this to be the absolute truth. There is no doubt that we all have that friend or friends who we consider part of our family, if not more than. Isn't this a wonderful thing? When we find those people that you know in your heart are the realest of the real, your heart soars and is at peace because you have made that special connection that will be everlasting. You've found that person you can count on, turn to, trust with your life, secrets, hopes and dreams and know that they support you and believe in you 100%, that person you can spend time with and just be yourself with, the one who you can completely let go with and just be crazy, those friends who you can laugh hysterically with over the silliest things... That, my dears is also called being "FAMILY." I mean, if not for that friend or friends, we'd be a bunch of lonely souls with nobody to turn to when we feel we've lost that primary family connection.

FRIENDS! We all have them. You just have to know which ones are real enough to call them family. Which ones will stand the test of time? Which ones can you ultimately trust with your feelings, emotions and best kept secrets? Which of these friends will be there for you no matter what, no matter how crazy you drive them or how many stupid things you do? Those that are willing to stick around regardless of your flaws are those friends that become your family.

Keep in mind that sometimes we out-grow some of our friends. This is not terribly bad because they can still be a part of your life just not as close as you were. This is sad but people change, their lives change (marriage, kids, careers, etc.) and you may no longer have much in common. When we out-grow certain friends, we are making room for the new ones that God is about to put in our paths. Haven't you ever met someone and instantly "clicked" with them? In a matter of minutes you've shared quite a lot about yourself with this "stranger" and before you know it, you exchange phone numbers, you start texting, you become Facebook and Twitter friends, and you invite each other to outings, the movies and OMG shopping! :)... Mmmhmm, I've just described what can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. This could be something that may have been missing in your life without you knowing it. These are the little miracles we live for, and are so grateful and thankful for when they happen. Friends are blessings and angels in disguise that are sent to us to fill a void, to comfort, love, understand, support, laugh and cry with, to share our lives with and expand our horizons. They can teach us new things and see our problems in a different light and thereby, making us feel better. Friends are simply the best and that is why we come to consider some of them our "best friends" and then are considered our "family." 

It's happened to me a few times, and it is just the most wonderful occurrence. I never thought I'd have such amazing people in my life as I have now. Most of them are friends who I now see as my family. Most of them I haven't even known for that long and some I've known for years, but they are very important in my life. I just adore them to pieces and I thank God for sending each of them to me at just the right moments. They offer support, they help me and most important, they believe in me. I may not have many blood relatives that I can count on and share my life with, and I am thankful for the few that I do have because they are awesome (ahem, my mommy - lol), but my friends make up for that missing bond. My "girls" are amazing (and wow, I now have several amazing guy friends as well). I am so lucky to have all of them in my life and for that I say thank you. I am at a place in my life where I don't need a million friends just a bunch that I know are sincere and I know I can count on. They give me love and I give it right back, and I honestly feel like I've finally cultivated a "harvest of friends" who I can now call my "FAMILY."

So there you have it. This is my take on a very important subject in all of our lives. If you agree or disagree with my views, please feel absolutely free to comment respectfully below and share your opinions. This is really a lovely topic to discuss and it's even lovelier when you can say you have a little bit of both. So I encourage you to please comment your story. To end this post, I'd like for you to go ahead and reflect on those people in your lives, your family and your friends and think which ones fall into any of the positive descriptions above. I hope you'll need more than ten fingers to count because that would mean that you, my dear, are truly blessed!

Until next time...

Gracias,

AnnaCris <3

A Letter To My Father...

Hola,

How goes it my lovelies? It's been a while since my last post, and I hope you've missed me... ;). I've been debating on whether to write this one however, only because it's kind of personal and I know it will make me sad. On the other hand, these are things I've carried in my heart and soul for almost forever so why not say them. I'm sure some can relate in one way or another. So here goes:

My father died on the job exactly two months and one day after I was born in the Dominican Republic. He died trying to save his uncle, and in the end they both perished. They worked in a plant where wine was made. There were huge tanks where they prepared the mixture, added fruit, chemicals, etc. The story goes that my father's uncle slipped on the ladder in the tank and fell into the mixture while carrying the chemicals he was going to add. My father went in after him to help and did not know these chemicals had fallen in. When others realized what was wrong, it was too late. They were pulled out, but they were both already gone. They both died of asphyxiation. It was a small town in the Dominican Republic where almost everybody knew each other so word spread quickly. It is said that tales of the accident reached several connecting towns, and the funerals for both were packed with people. My mother and older brother were devastated and yet, I had no idea what was going on around me. I was baptized during my father's church service so everybody knew about the little two-month old baby girl who would never know her father.

This is my father (quite handsome if I do say so myself). I carry this picture in my wallet:

So my letter to him is below...

Dear Daddy:

Although I never had the chance to meet you, I still feel like I know you; I still love you with all my heart. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were here on earth. How different my life and everything would have been if you had lived! I wonder if I'd call you "daddy" or "papi" in Spanish. I try to imagine what it would be like to have a conversation with you. I would love to hear what your voice sounds like, and the sound of your laughter. To see your smile - is it just like mine? How would it feel to just get a hug from my dad when I needed one? What I wouldn't give to have someone to protect and defend me, and who would always be there for me. To have someone who strongly supports me so I don't always feel like I have this weight on my shoulders. To have someone who would comfort me when I'm sad, crying or just worried about something. I've rarely had that, and I know with you that would've been unconditional and always present.

Never will I know what it's like to be "daddy's little girl." As a kid, to scrape my knee and have you kiss it and make it all better, while wiping away my tears. To have arguments with you as a teenager and feel like you were just ruining my life, without knowing how precious it was to just have had you during those years. To have you punish me and then give in when I'd give you my "puppy dog" eyes (lol, I'm really good at that). To dance with you at my sweet sixteen, to watch you fret on prom night - my first night out past curfew, to see how proud you'd be when I graduated high school, started college and my first job. I wonder how you'd react when I started dating and met my very first boyfriend... I laugh just imagining what you'd say to both of us, but especially to him. I could hear you putting the fear of God into the poor guy. What kind of wisdom would you have given me about men? Never will I know what sweet words you'd say to me when I had my first heartbreak and the ones thereafter. How would you comfort me, what advice would you give me to help me heal? Would you go in search of the guy who hurt your little girl? Ha, I'm betting you would. One of my biggest regrets is if I ever get married, I will never be able to dance with my father at my wedding. To have you give me away to my future husband. To have you look at me on that special day with so much love and awe and tell me how beautiful I look (of course I'd be wearing a dress that I designed, *smile*). Oh how I wish you were here dad!

As a grown woman, what kind of conversations would we have? Would I ever do anything to disappoint you? Would you forgive me if I did? I think you would. If I told you my dreams of starting my own business back when I was younger, would you support me and help me in every way you could? No one in my life did when I let it be known that this was what I wanted. Yet I know you would've told me to always follow my dreams; to never give up on them and most importantly, you would've helped me start. I know because I've heard countless stories about you from those who knew you. They all tell wonderful stories about what a brave and great man you were. They describe you as a man with good morals, manners and principals. You were a true gentleman. Everyone attests to how responsible, fair, hardworking, sensitive, caring, understanding and charming you were. You were always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone who was in need. You stood your ground when you knew you were right. They also said how stubborn and determined you were. So yes, I know you would have helped me to follow my dreams. You'd tell me that I could do anything I wanted and to never give up on those dreams. You would be that person who would believe in me even when I stop believing in myself. As for the business dream, I confess that I gave up... I did. I felt I couldn't do it alone, and I've never had that support from those close to me. However, I know that you'll be so proud now because I've decided to go for it this time even if I do it alone. Wherever you are dad, I know this is making you smile and you're saying "that's my baby." :)

Daddy, I wonder about so many things when it comes to you, and it makes me so sad that we never got to know each other. I miss you every single day. I really do! It hurts to know that our relationship never got a chance to flourish. We never got the chance to form that bond where it became the most beautiful, closest and trusting relationship I'd ever have. You know our family is okay as far as family goes, but I feel so alone in the midst of them. Like I don't belong, like there's always been something and someone missing to make me click with the rest of them. That something and someone is you. Nonetheless, not having you around has made me the strong woman that I am today. I've learned to take care of myself and others, to be independent and take charge. I've learned to handle whatever comes my way and somehow in the end, I always manage to get through. So perhaps, the hidden reason in growing up without my father was to make me the person I am today. Even so, I still wish you were here because I'd end up being just the same only with a little more happiness and so much more love. I know it!

Sometimes, however, I have to admit that I do get angry at you for leaving. I understand your need to help those in trouble, but why would you jump into that tank without stopping to think first. Analyze the situation and think of the consequences. But that was not you right? Your instinct was to help first and think later. You never considered that your wife, your son and your newborn baby girl at home could possibly lose you.  Were we the last thought that went through your mind on that fateful day? I get so angry sometimes, and just ask why you had to go away in such a manner and so soon. My comfort is that you died a hero. You died trying to save someone else's life so even in death you died as a brave and great man, and that makes me so proud of you.

I want you to know that I carry your picture in my wallet. It's my favorite picture of you because you look so handsome. I look at it and it's like I'm looking at myself in the mirror. We have the same sad eyes, the long eyelashes, even the stare is the same! We share the same nose and mouth and thankfully, because of your wonderful genes we're both tall and slim. Everyone in our family is forever saying how I look exactly like you. My aunt (your sister) gets this wistful look in her eyes when she looks at me. She says she just sees you. I wish I had been able to take just one picture with you (can we say Photoshop at some point?). I'm told by many that I have your personality as well, right down to liking and disliking the same things you did. I have your sense of responsibility, your stubbornness and determination, the way I care for others and that sensitivity is all from you. This is how I know that if you were here, we'd be so close. We'd get along so well, even while butting heads. Our love would be unbreakable, unconditional and forever just there. I'd be daddy's little girl!

I will always have you in my heart, in my soul and in every wish I make, it's you that I wish for. I miss you every single day, but I know dad that you're in heaven or somewhere very beautiful. You're watching over me, smiling at me and feeling extremely proud of the woman your daughter has become. I sense that you're blessing me with great things and taking care of me even from afar. I wish that I had even one chance of seeing you in person, of hearing your voice; of hugging you and telling you that I love you. I wonder if you'd ever show up in my dreams just to get a glimpse... But I live knowing that someday we may meet and that day I will finally get that hug and that smile from you and hear you say "I love you."

In the meantime, watch over me and guide me and know that your little girl loves you and misses you with all her heart and soul! The saying "the good die young" is so true. You died way before you should have dad!  You really did!

Te quiero mucho papi! Besos! <3

Until we meet Daddy. Forever yours!

Your daughter,

AnnaCris <3

Please feel free to comment or share your similar story below... #engage!